So, in the midst of my pain and rage at God, I heard a gently whisper. While I was yelling and angry, asking Him to change me, make me respond differently, or just plain STOP me – He spoke softly and gently to my heart. “My dear son, I will change you and I will heal your heart, but you have to be willing to choose to take a different path and do the hard work that is ahead.”
You see friends, He is our only hope for healing and deliverance. But just as He spoke to the lame man by the Pool of Bethesda, asking him, “Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:1-15) He will ask us the same question. “Oh yes, a thousand times yes!” I had cried out to Him over the years, but then was not willing to choose a different path – not willing to do the work of freedom! The lame man by the Pool of Bethesda had to truly leave behind those things that had become comfortable in his condition. To do the work of taking up his mat and placing the weight of his body on his formerly useless legs. He was afraid and unsure if he truly could be healed – if Jesus could truly change his condition. What would this mean for him? How would his life change?
That is the small step of faith that Christ asks of all of us. This night, my heart was finally able to meet His… then true change began. I took up my mat, and started putting one foot in front of the other!