In recent months, and even in the last few years, there has been a beginning of an uproar against counseling for the “sin” of homosexuality. Regardless of what you call it, counseling is an attempt to help someone who may want to see truth and healing in order to live the life God has for them. And yes, they do have to want it. So, counseling is not forced, it is not demanded, it is an offering. What is really the problem?  Well, the problem is there is a battle going on for a belief. That belief is one of two options – either I am born gay and therefore no one should try and help me “heal” or I’m broken and I need healing. Those in favor of being “born gay” have determined that the rest of us, who believe we weren't “born gay”, are wrong and that we should not have the right to change and to heal because that would fly in the face of their truth. The mere fact that we exist, I mean those of us who want to change and have changed, frustrate the opposing side because that would mean that they could be wrong and change is possible. Hurt, anger, and pride have caused them to only see their side of the issue. They must be right, or they have to re-examine their entire existence. If even one of us can change, then they may be wrong and then they would be faced with their own brokenness.

The problem is that there is a core fundamental belief that is at issue. If I am truly born gay then of course, “Why should I receive counseling to try and change who I was born to be?” Isn't it interesting that the rest of us are saying the same thing? I was born straight; I just want the opportunity to heal from the brokenness that lies to me and see who I really am. Why can’t I as a straight male who at one time had same-sex attraction say the same thing and get help? Does this make sense? There is no question here of hate or discrimination, only an offering of healing.

Gay community says: I am gay. I was born this way. Let me be who I am.

Trans-gendered community says: “I am born in the wrong body. Let me change so that I can be who I want to be”

Healing for homosexual sin says: “I was born right, but feel wrong. Help me change so that I can be who God meant for me to be”

There is such a double standard and if we don’t wake up to the issue, then we are going to lose the right to get help as we see fit. I spent most of my adolescent years fighting the feelings of attraction to other men. I acted on my attractions; I felt for other men and I had sex with other men. I have been there. I have wanted to claim my identity and say “I am gay!” However, that never felt right to me and it never fit. I never truly felt that I was not meant to be the man God made me to be. There is a great line that has to be crossed to say, MY GOD IS WRONG. As often as I tried to cross that line, I couldn’t and be happy. So, I found happiness when I found healing and began to see the man I was meant to be. Now the gay agenda wants to take that option of healing away from others. The gay community wants to say, “We want the right to be who we want to be, but you can’t have that same right.” And, “We will take away your right to see if there is a way to be who God intended you to be.”

The issue of therapy or counseling for those struggling with same-sex attraction should be their choice. What is the difference between counseling, conversion therapy, or reparative therapy? Isn’t all therapy meant to repair what has been broken and heal what makes us hurt? No matter the label that recent opponents have placed on it, the fact remains that healing is still healing. Regardless of what you think of the topic, counseling is still meant to heal and repair. Just because the “gay agenda” is now saying that you can’t say that – doesn’t mean that the rest of us don’t count. We are here! We are here! We, the ones who feel like God has changed us and that counseling did help. Are you listening? We are here!

Let me give you another scenario. What if you had a son who was struggling with drugs or alcohol? What lengths would you go to save him? Would you take away his car keys, lock him in his room, refuse to give him money for anything because you didn’t know what he would use it for? Would you try and put him in a treatment facility even if he didn’t want to go? As a parent, I would do just about anything to keep my child from getting lost in the hopelessness of any addiction, or for that matter, any pain. President Obama is asking parents to stop trying to help their children see both sides of the coin. What is wrong with realizing that a child might actually benefit from at least hearing, “You have a choice so look at all your choices? Don’t let anyone demand that you are a certain way.”  Now we have “the gay agenda” attempting to sue caregivers who tried to help them earlier in life. Be very cautious. When we start allowing lawsuits to punish those who did not mean harm, but were only trying to help and offer hope, we open a door that will not go anywhere good. In the example of the son addicted to drugs – would you allow that son to “sue” his parents for attempting to help?

With regards to suicide, we are running scared trying to address the fear of what to do when a trans-gendered individual or a “gay struggler” wants to commit suicide because they feel ostracized. Do you realize that I too contemplated suicide at one time in my young adult life? Why, because I was gay and not allowed to feel gay and be gay? NO! I contemplated suicide because I knew the man God made me, but could not figure out a way to find that man. He was lost in my brokenness. What you are not hearing about, are the countless number of folks who were hurt and hurting until they FOUND freedom from homosexuality. We are here! WE ARE HERE! Are we as a society concerned with those suicides? With those individuals who now may have nowhere to turn? Will we be willing to look at their hopelessness and potential feelings of suicide?

All I am asking is to be cautious. I understand both sides of this discussion. However, when one person or people group has the power to take away the options for the rest of us, then we are in grave danger. No one can take away my story. No one can change what I feel or what I have seen in my life. However, if we allow counseling, healing, hope for folks who want to change to be “stopped” because of a few, then we lose out on the freedoms of all the others. Those seeking change should continue to have the freedom to change. Out of my healing I should be able to offer the same choice to someone else who wants to change. Gay agenda, what are you afraid of? We are here! We are not going away. We have been changed. I am sorry that leaders before us, including some leaders of the fallen Exodus Ministries did not do the work needed to fully change and therefore ruined a lot for the rest of us. But those of us, who continue to fight the good fight, seek hope, seek change, and become the men and women God has made us to be, are still here, we’re still in the battle, and we will not be silent. If you truly want freedom for yourselves and the ability to choose your own identity, can’t others still have the same freedom?  

If God is for us, who can be against us. Romans 8:31


Lee Preston is Co-founder and Co-Director of Shadow of His Wings Ministry located in South Texas. Shadow of His Wings Ministry is a healing and counseling ministry seeking to offer hope and recovery to the broken-hearted and the wounded.

Visit us at www.shadowofhiswingsministry.com

Or call

210-887-9007

He loves you Enough to tell you the truth

God will not allow us to change His truths. He will allow us to believe untruths, but that does not mean that He will ever change His truth. We live in a day and age where truth is relative and untruths are tolerated. The truth that God is the giver of life, we aren’t. He also determines when life begins, we do not. Many see God as a tyrant or as an authoritative parent who is always saying “no”. Think back when you were a young child. How did you feel when your Mom or Dad said “No” to something they knew would hurt you but you just knew it would be the greatest thing ever? You got angry – upset even. We aren’t too far removed from that child, even as adults. We still get angry when we have a loving and wise Father who whispers in our ear, “That’s not my best for you.” There are a lot of angry people out there that get even angrier when God whispers truth into their ear. However, He loves us enough to tell us the truth because He wants our best.

He loves you Enough not to let your choices affect His purposes

We kill unborn babies, we choose to live together rather than marry, we try to change the definition of marriage, we even try and change the way He made us because we don’t like who we are. His Love and Purpose will not change even when we attempt to change. He gave us free will and a choice because He knew that we would only come to resent a God that demanded that we love Him the way He is and the way He has made His creation. So out of love for us, He has allowed us choice, but our choices will not ultimately change Him or His will. It is so sad today to see people try and fit God into their lives rather than them fitting into His will. His will is perfect. It doesn’t change; it is truly the only constant. Why is there so much pain in the world? Most often because of our bad and broken choices that cause us great pain. Remember again, when you were a child and your parent finally “gave in” and allowed you to eat all the candy you wanted or allowed you to roller skate without elbow pads? What happened? You got a tummy ache or you crashed and skinned your elbows. Then who was there to stay up with you all night as you were throwing up or bandaged your boo boos? Well, now you have a Father in Heaven that loves you so much, He will bandage your boo boos and He does stay up all night with us when we are in pain. However, He has been whispering in your ear all this time “Don’t do that… it’s not your best. You will get hurt. I love you and I don’t want you get hurt.” Sometimes we choose to harm others or to harm ourselves and then we cry out to Him in pain and desperation. You can be god of your own life, but His purposes and plan will not change. Be careful, you may find that one day you have not truly chosen the one true Plan, Jesus Christ and His best. There may be no turning back at that point.

He loves you Enough to not change, even when you demand that He should

God does not change. How do you change perfection? Isn’t that exactly what satan wanted God to do in the beginning? He wanted God to change and to step down from His rightful place because satan thought He could do it better and was better. He was not and he is not. And, sorry, we aren’t either. You may think that the “thing” you most desire or the “way” you want your life to be will be the best thing ever if you could just have it. You have sex, get pregnant, and then you want to just “get rid of the unborn child”. In the moment, you think this is the best solution and if you could just get it over with, it would all be okay. Then after the abortion, you can’t shake the deep, throbbing wound of killing your child. You live with a constant reminder that “I have a child in Heaven that I will see someday and he/she knows that I took their life”. What do you do with that pain? Well, of course God still loves you. He’s taking care of your child. He is loving you and trying to heal your pain. But, what if… you had listened to Him in the first place and allowed His best and let Him help you through this crisis of belief? Maybe He would have come up with another plan that would have prevented your pain and sorrow. His plan is always best. He will always come up with another option that leads to the least pain and the most reward. However, we want to be our own god and be in charge of what we do. Then we wonder why we have so much pain.

Maybe you don’t like how God made you. Too fat? Too thin? Not pretty enough, not strong enough? A boy in a girl’s body or a girl in a boy’s body? What you see may not be the truth. You may demand change but God knows what’s coming. He knows the hurt you will continue to feel and He knows that His original will always be better than the counterfeit. I know, shouldn’t we just let people be “who they want to be?” Well, truthfully, that is the way God’s plan works. He has given us free will choice and He will allow us to choose what we desire for ourselves. But it doesn’t mean that He will ever change His mind and say that what you chose was actually better than His plan. His best is to take us in His arms and love us to truth. To help us see who we really are, rather than just to give in and give us what we think we want. However, many choose to shun that love and make their own way. He still doesn’t change and His love is still there. However, so much pain, so much anger, so much resentment – He sees it. He knows that we resent Him. But why? Because you didn’t make me the way I wanted you to? You are not God. You are perfect just the way you are. Let Him show you – or choose your own way. However, you may have more pain than you ever had before. Our ways often lead to more brokenness and hurt.

He loves you Enough to love you in spite of your brokenness

Will God continue to love us even when we choose our own way? Yes. Absolutely, yes. Will we all enter into His best and into the Family of God? No. Absolutely, no. You see, a loving God will continue to love us, even when we choose our own way, choose to be our own god, make our own choices. He will continue to seek after us, go find us in our broken places, and bring us home to heal. However, if we continue to reject His love and His Son, Jesus Christ, we will not be a part of the Family of God. Nothing changes that  - not even us. Why would a loving God continue to love me in my own brokenness but not just “allow me to continue to reject Him and His sacrifice?” Because He will never stop being God – He will never stop knowing what is best for us. There will come a day when you must either see that God’s best is best and choose to follow Him; otherwise, you never will. You will always want your own way and want to be your own God. Again, remember when you were a child and your Dad wouldn’t allow you to play with kids that were only going to hurt you? God is our loving Father and He is preparing a place for us - a place of Hope, Love, Life, and Honor. A place to dwell that will have no sadness, anger, pain, hurt, or shame. A place where He is God and it will be our joy to worship Him and be in relationship with Him. If you can’t acknowledge that you’re not God you will not ever see the perfect love of your Father. You will always try and get your own way and you will not care if you hurt others in the process. God wants His children to be safe, not to continue to hurt. He sacrificed His son so that you could be in the Family of God. However, you must see your lack and His sufficiency. If you can’t see Him at that point, you never will. Be careful, that day is coming.

Walking through the loss of a loved one with a friend has recently caused me to think more often of my own Grandma. Feeling the sadness of a loss, missing their smile, remembering their hugs all cause great grief and pain because of course, they’re no longer here on this earth. It is easy to say, “She’s in a better place” or “We all knew this day would come someday”. However, these well meaning words can never take away the loss and the pain of missing them, for now. So out of this sadness comes a moment to reflect on my own Grandma Preston. Here’s to you Grandma and your memory, as well as your legacy.

My Grandma was my biggest fan. I don’t remember a time when she ever had anything but love for me. Even when there were times that I am sure I got on her last nerve, she was always there, always ready to love, always looking at me with that sparkle in her eye. My Grandma was the most giving and unconditional person that I have ever known. She oftentimes would go above and beyond her own strength or abilities to make sure that her family was loved, no matter what. Let me tell you a little about her… she’s worthy of remembering.

My Grandma never seemed to lose her temper. She would sometimes threaten to “cut a switch” when we were running through the house or ignoring her words to “behave”. But, she never did. The great thing was that she taught us how to respect her through her love, not her fear. She treated each of her grandchildren with unconditional love. I never remember feeling a time that I felt unloved or that others were loved more than me. She had a way of spreading her love around in a way that made each of us feel special – even me. You see, I was a bit mischievous and was always getting into something or finding a way to explore somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. She seemed to understand that and always was there to love me in spite of my mistakes. I remember many times when she would come to my rescue or wink at me when I was getting scolded for something by someone else. I always knew that while she didn’t approve of my rebellion, she loved me through it.

One time I remember going over to my Grandma’s house after school. We oftentimes stopped by on our way home and she and my Grandpa were always sitting on the front porch and we would sit out and talk to them. Oh, we wouldn’t necessarily stay long, but we would stay just long enough to talk, reminisce about the old days, and then go home. We also usually had time to at least have a snack as my Grandma always had something in the kitchen to eat. She loved providing for her family. One time I remember coming into her kitchen and feeling the growling in my stomach from a long day at school and hoping that she had something to remedy that. I remember my Mom saying, “Don’t eat anything because we’re going home to have dinner soon.” However, I knew my Grandma had something in her refrigerator that would hold me over until dinner, and that she did. I opened the door and found a plate of homemade fried chicken, wrapped neatly in cellophane and ready for me to grab a piece. I struggled… wait until dinner, or go ahead and sneak a piece – what should I do? I decided to grab a piece and run. I lifted the cellophane ever so neatly and grabbed a wing and a leg and scurried off to the bathroom to devour my prize. My Grandparent’s house was an older house with wooden framed windows and the old screens that latch with a small hook and eye in the window sill. After eating my find, I had to dispose of the evidence. So, rather than throwing the bones in the trash where I was sure they would be found, I decided to open that screen and toss them out the window into the backyard. My tummy was full, my hands were clean, and the evidence was safely out of sight… at least that’s what I thought. I failed to notice that I hadn’t re-latched the screen.

What I didn’t know was that my Grandpa soon went into the bathroom and came out exclaiming “Someone was trying to get into the house because the bathroom screen was unlatched.” Of course, this caused great alarm and then everyone starting searching around the bathroom and outside the bathroom window for evidence of what could have happened or who could have unlatched the bathroom screen? My heart sank when I heard my Mom say, “There are chicken bones out here!” Mmmm, interesting… could it be? A chicken-eating intruder that left his evidence as he was crawling out the window?” No, unfortunately, all eyes fell on me and I couldn’t keep my secret any longer. I confessed, my Mom got mad, but my Grandma had that twinkle in her eye. She came over to me and she said, “You can have as much chicken as you want – I know how much you like it.”

I know this story may not mean much to you, but being the chicken-eating bandit in my family was just a part of my adventures and one of the many times that my curiosity and mischievousness got me into trouble. And, it was also one of the many times that my Grandma came to my rescue and loved me still. There are many other stories and many other times that her eyes twinkled. She was a woman of great love and hope. She would love all of her grandchildren in such a way that you thought she must know you personally and she made sure she saw each of us. Her giggles would light up a room and when she smiled, her whole face smiled. She would sometimes giggle so hard that she would lose her breath and the warmth that came from her was catching. My Grandma was a picture of my Jesus and for that Grandma, I am truly thankful.

Grandma, I just want you to know that you are missed. I think of you often and hope that you are having a blast in heaven. I hope that you are enjoying gardening, fixing everyone your homemade fried chicken, and doing as many crossword puzzles as you like. Your memories are knitted into my life just like the crocheted blankets you made for all of us. My heart was blessed by your love and your memory. You are truly one of the Saints that has gone before me. I long to see you someday and I know the twinkle in your eye will still be there. Jesus, give my Grandma a hug and tell her I’ll see her soon.

Love,
Lee