Do you really want to hear my story? Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself and it will not be something that others want to hear. All I know is that I can’t be the only one out here who felt this way and I want others to find hope. Hope for what? Well, even though I was hurt, broken, and screwed up as a kid, I have come to know that God is my hope and my future. He has the plans for me that He has always had. He does not change and so if you hear my story and then you find that you relate, then maybe you can also relate to a God who knows you and who knew you even before you knew yourself. I pray that for my kids – that they will know the God that knows them even though they are still finding out who they are. Please Lord remind them of who you see them to be! Remind those who are reading this that you have always known them… they are fully known by you if not by anyone else.
You’re a fag! You’re a sissy! You’re weird! These words rang in my head, over and over as I was growing up. My childhood was wrought with painful words and others looking at me differently because I was oftentimes “one of the girls”. I hung around with my two best friends, two girls and this caused me to be labeled as “one of the girls, a sissy, a fag, etc. I get it, it is odd and doesn’t seem to fit. Other guys didn’t understand why this one guy seemed to “want” to do girl things. My hurts and pain caused me to feel that I did not “fit in”. I grew up thinking that I could never fit in… I was not really the same guy as I saw others be around me. I was different, broken, and not quite right.