Please Know My Heart

I know you may not want to hear about this because it is not what you believe about yourself or what you have come to accept about yourself, but I hope that you will hear my heart. I came from the place you are in. Oh, I never fully accepted myself as gay, but I did feel like being attracted to other men was something in me that I could not control nor did I really want to control it most of the time. I tried, but let’s face it, it was too hard. I wanted the closeness with another man and I wanted to be loved by him and sex with a man was all I had ever known. I struggled with believing that it was the only way for me. So, I am not here to condemn you or to tell you how easy it is to change or to not be “gay” anymore, but I am here to tell you that I just want to offer to you another answer.

This answer is not one that the world offers you; it is not one that the gay culture would offer you, but it is a true answer. So, here it is… God loves you just the way you are, no matter what you are doing, how you act, who you believe you are, or what you have heard. His love for you has not changed since the day he formed you in your mother’s womb. He still sees you exactly the same way and he knows how your heart hurts because of pain and rejection and abandonment that happened as you were growing up and how now you choose men for sex, relationship, and love to fill in the empty spaces of your heart. You were not born gay, you were made gay… I know it doesn’t feel that way and you have probably spent many years struggling with this idea and finally coming to a conclusion that you were born that way and yes, I know, it felt a lot better to finally believe that you were born that way. It probably felt better because you no longer had to worry, stress, agonize over what was going on in your body and mind and why you are like this. You probably feel accepted by the gay community and find it hard to feel accepted by your family anymore because of the pain and rejection they have caused you.

However, God still whispers in your ear that it is not His best for you and He has a better plan for you. It is a hard road, a road that will be paved with hurt and pain and having to dig deep into your heart to find the wounds, but it is a rewarding trip. A trip with your Heavenly Father who wants to remind you of His love and perfect plan for you. So, if you are up for it, He will take you to safety and show you a love like nothing you have ever experience. This love fulfills, it does not compare to the emptiness of anonymous sex, one-night stands, being used for your body, being included because of your sexuality, thinking you finally found someone who loves you perfectly and then finding out that he only wants your body. These things do satisfy for a moment, but not for long then you are out looking again for something more. God’s love is perfect, it does not change, it does not want, it only gives. Will you give it a chance?