So long to a place of healing and hope...
Is it okay to disagree with today's Gay community? I hope so... I am not against anyone's right to be who they believe they are, but I also want to continue to have the right to be who I am as well. I am deeply saddened at the destruction of Exodus International and believe that it was not the Hand of God that prompted the fall. Why do we have to apologize for trying to help folks? Haven't we learned that not everyone wants help, gets help, or finds it is what they were looking for? What about those of us who were helped and are happy with the healing we got from Exodus, Reparative Therapy, and the "Ex-gay movement"?
I am saddened to see that we have not learned yet from years of what I call the "pendulum"! The pendulum drastically swings one way and we are swallowed by fear, anger, sadness, etc. and many are taken by the momentum of fear and begin hurting folks with words, actions, and judgement. I can agree that because of this, yes, some got hurt. However, we then see what we've done by our fear and hurt and so we begin swinging the pendulum so far the other direction that we forget the good things that were accomplished along the way. It is a travesty that Exodus International and its Chairman and Board of Directors have now renounced everything that once was considered helpful. But what is more hurtful, is this current leadership has now renounced all of us that were helped, aren't asking for an apology for being helped, and found reparative therapy, counseling, or whatever you want to call it freeing!
Is it okay to disagree with today's Gay community? I hope so... I am not against anyone's right to be who they believe they are, but I also want to continue to have the right to be who I am as well. I am deeply saddened at the destruction of Exodus International and believe that it was not the Hand of God that prompted the fall. Why do we have to apologize for trying to help folks? Haven't we learned that not everyone wants help, gets help, or finds it is what they were looking for? What about those of us who were helped and are happy with the healing we got from Exodus, Reparative Therapy, and the "Ex-gay movement"?
I am saddened to see that we have not learned yet from years of what I call the "pendulum"! The pendulum drastically swings one way and we are swallowed by fear, anger, sadness, etc. and many are taken by the momentum of fear and begin hurting folks with words, actions, and judgement. I can agree that because of this, yes, some got hurt. However, we then see what we've done by our fear and hurt and so we begin swinging the pendulum so far the other direction that we forget the good things that were accomplished along the way. It is a travesty that Exodus International and its Chairman and Board of Directors have now renounced everything that once was considered helpful. But what is more hurtful, is this current leadership has now renounced all of us that were helped, aren't asking for an apology for being helped, and found reparative therapy, counseling, or whatever you want to call it freeing!
Why can't we just meet in the middle and acknowledge, "Hey, it might not have worked for you, but it has worked for others and we don't apologize for helping, and we don't apologize for Exodus or anyone who stood for what Exodus once stood for. We did the best we could to help people who showed up at our doors! Okay, maybe some were coerced by parents because they wanted to get help for their children, maybe some came hoping for freedom but found none. But what about those of us who did find FREEDOM! Don't renounce me... don't renounce us. I am free because of counseling, Exodus ministries, and many loving and hopeful people along the way that helped me see who I am. I will not apologize for that.
So, now that Exodus International is closing because some were ashamed because others didn't get the help they were looking for, or some became suicidal, and some were brought to tears and lost hope, I hope you now will not close your eyes to the doors you have closed in the faces of those who wanted help, sought Exodus for change, and now may not be able to seek counseling because of what you have done. I hope you see the thoughts of suicide, sadness, and hopelessness that you now have caused because now there is no longer a "Beacon" in the storm for those of us looking for help. I was once one of those... thinking of putting a gun to my head wanting to be dead because I could not find freedom. Oh, I know, some will say, "If you had gone to a counselor who helps you accept your gayness then you will feel free... been there, tried that, and did not find freedom. Who's apologizing for that? Don't take away my choices either!Exodus and others helped me to find freedom. Now I choose life... I am sorry for those who feel the opposite of me and for that reason I don't ever choose to make someone change or demand they change, but I want all to have the right to seek out the help they want.
There will be other Beacons... Exodus is no longer and that does not mean others will not press forward to help find freedom for all. I hope those who closed the Exodus doors will see someday the hearts that they abandoned in their efforts to apologize for trying to help. There are more hurts than just those in the Ex-ex-gay movement.
Please just don't take away my right to be happy that I am free and that I like my life and who I am... not because I have accepted gayness, but because I see who I believe God has made me to be. You cannot define my freedom just as you have demanded that no one should define yours. I won't take away your rights to your freedom, but don't take away mine and others rights to find our freedom on our own. So, can we agree to disagree?
So, now that Exodus International is closing because some were ashamed because others didn't get the help they were looking for, or some became suicidal, and some were brought to tears and lost hope, I hope you now will not close your eyes to the doors you have closed in the faces of those who wanted help, sought Exodus for change, and now may not be able to seek counseling because of what you have done. I hope you see the thoughts of suicide, sadness, and hopelessness that you now have caused because now there is no longer a "Beacon" in the storm for those of us looking for help. I was once one of those... thinking of putting a gun to my head wanting to be dead because I could not find freedom. Oh, I know, some will say, "If you had gone to a counselor who helps you accept your gayness then you will feel free... been there, tried that, and did not find freedom. Who's apologizing for that? Don't take away my choices either!Exodus and others helped me to find freedom. Now I choose life... I am sorry for those who feel the opposite of me and for that reason I don't ever choose to make someone change or demand they change, but I want all to have the right to seek out the help they want.
There will be other Beacons... Exodus is no longer and that does not mean others will not press forward to help find freedom for all. I hope those who closed the Exodus doors will see someday the hearts that they abandoned in their efforts to apologize for trying to help. There are more hurts than just those in the Ex-ex-gay movement.
Please just don't take away my right to be happy that I am free and that I like my life and who I am... not because I have accepted gayness, but because I see who I believe God has made me to be. You cannot define my freedom just as you have demanded that no one should define yours. I won't take away your rights to your freedom, but don't take away mine and others rights to find our freedom on our own. So, can we agree to disagree?