One of the saddest times in my life was when I was around 16 years of age and I was deeply entrenched in sin. I was acting out sexually with men in public restrooms, looking at porn, struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors, and completely alone. I thought that there was no one around that would even understand my broken heart and that no one would want to help someone as despicable as me.
As I looked around, I saw people in the church and, well - they all just seemed so perfect. Although I had accepted Christ at the age of 8 years old, I felt truly abandoned by Him and everyone else in my life. I truly thought that when I accepted Christ as my personal Savior, then life should be good for me. There weren't supposed to be any hurts in my life, no pain. It sure seemed, as I looked around that little Baptist Church that I grew up in, that no one else had problems. Just me...
I finally got the courage up to go see a youth pastor at my church and out of absolute desperation, I vomited everything I had been doing on the table before him. I know that I overwhelmed him. I know that he didn't really know what to do with my sin, but what he did next was absolutely devastating. He looked up into my eyes and pushed the Bible to me and said, "Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor homosexuals will enter the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9)". So you better start praying and hoping that God forgives your sin, or your going to hell.
All hope for me was lost that day. I knew that I had already been praying for God to heal me. I already knew that I had confessed my sin over and over to God, hoping He would take it away. He hadn't. So, He either couldn't or worse yet, He wouldn't. He had abandoned me.
It is my heart that no one ever have to struggle with this dilemma. You see as I have found healing and have been helping other for over 20 years, I have realized that even the saved can struggle with besetting sin. Sin caused by deep wounds that need to be healed so that "Truth" can get into those broken places. It was not that I lacked salvation, it was that I lacked Truth. I needed someone to help me navigate through my pain and find the Truths that Christ was offering to me. Sometimes, however, in our brokenness, we can't see or hear. We only know the shackles around our ankles and the chains that engulf our body.
If you struggle with a sin you just can't seem to get free from, there is Hope. Hope is Christ. Hope is in the Freedom in Christ. However, sometimes you need someone to help walk with you along the path to freedom. I think of many of the healings that Jesus performed in the Bible during His time on the earth. Those healings often included someone bringing the "broken" to Him, interceding for them, even cutting a hole in a roof to lower a friend to Christ. Don't give up struggler! There is freedom in Him - even for those who know Him but haven't been fully healed. Oh, and just in case you are wondering, He hasn't given up on you either.
Shadow of His Wings Ministry believes the Truth that even the "saved" sitting in our churches, our neighborhoods, our own backyards may be struggling with sin they just can't get freedom from. It is our New Mission Field - To heal the Body of Christ. Many times churches seek after salvation for their sheep, but not for true healing. Then once we get into church, we are afraid to really let people see what goes on in our brokenness because, "What if they won't then accept me?" Rather than questioning someone's salvation, may we first try and find the hurts that lead them to their sin. As Christ begins to expose those hurts and then heal them, they just might find their true identity in Christ and begin living free!